This is the End

You probably don't want to read this.

I feel a certain way and it is very hard to explain, but I'm going to try it as a monologue. See, my company is about gone. Well, it is gone for me. This is what is hard to explain.

We are not closed yet. We may not even close, just be bought. Compared to what millions upon millions of people have been going through, this is really a non-event (at this point, there is no final decision). So many people have it so much worse. Sure I'm worried, but these last couple of years you're kind of nieve if losing your job doesn't sit somewhere in the back of your head. But I'm not looking for sympathy, and I will be grateful if I still have a job next week.

Here's the thing, this place has been a big part of my life. Twenty-one years here. That's a long time. I have been fairly unhappy for awhile now, ask my friends. And, of course, my personality means I have complained all along the way. Somewhat normal. But, the past couple of years have been really rough and it takes its toll on you. Well, on me anyway.

Ages ago, people were "Company Men". Who you worked for kind of defined you. Seemed like it was almost like who you support in professional sports. Those days are long gone, but until the last ten years or so, people did still have careers that were aligned with a company. That has been the case for me. Didn't intend it to be that way, it just kind of worked out that way.

I came on when the company first started to really expand. There were some economic downturns, but we had been fiscally responsible enough to get through it and come out in a better position. It was fun. Naturally that couldn't last forever, but the company gave me many opportunities.

Today we will be sold. Maybe the company will still be around, maybe not. Regardless, it feels over to me. It really feels like the end of something special, something that I helped grow, in whatever small way. And I feel incredibly sad.