Obsession

Its pretty common these days for folks to joke about being OCD. I don't really believe I'm compulsive. I am, however, fairly obsessive. When something gets into the forefront of my brain, I have a tough time letting go. Perhaps this is why I'm list maker. Keeps me moving.

Well, regardless of how I obsess, somethings just make you feel a certain way. I do different things for a different feeling. I'm being honest when I say I can't stand going to the gym. The problem is I often like the way I feel afterwards, and I like the results for sure. The way I keep myself going is to tell myself that it'll help my biking. I think I'd really like to be a great bicyclist. Maybe great is too strong, but really good, certainly better than now.

Another thing I smell coming is the motorcycle obsession. The brief history is I got a minibike in 3rd grade. I got a bigger one in 5th. I rode that thing for hours. And hours. And hours at a time. It was great.

When my grandfather made the logging trail into a trail for me, it was awesome. I had a few places I could get some air, some washes to dig through, and throw in some black snakes to avoid. I ended up too big for it, but I still rode it.

I always wanted to get one, but you know. The closest I came was out of college when my car was getting close to death. Bike was a cheaper option. Never happened. Rode a friends, and it was like before.

For whatever mid-life reason I bought the bike last spring. I spent a lot of time getting it into shape, and then the obligitory modifications. Got stuck in the shop during the best month. I rode to work today. Went out at lunch. That feeling comes back. The main difference is that on the road I can't allow my mind to drift. The feeling, however, is the same. There really isn't anything for me to compare it to. I feel free. And, I'll admit it, I feel cool. People look. Its fun.

I don't see this going away.